So we heard the heartbeat of this little machine growing inside of me, for the first time today. I also got to meet my midwife, she is amayzing. So the last 2 times that I was at the doctor my BP was high for me 135/90 or so, today at the midwife it was 110/75 :) I guess that just goes to prove that I am much more at ease in her office.
Well sorry it is a short post, it has been a really long day.
Oh btw Happy Birthday Mike, you didn't think I would forget did you?
Monday, March 21, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Thank you...
Thank you to all of you who have commented. I means so much :)
On a posting note... For those of you out there that are using MSN Mssgr and the audio conversation option there are better alternatives. May I introduce Skype! A truly FREE VOIP option. Chris and I used it last night after I have been hearing about it lots, and we are glad we did. Clear like a regular phone conversation, no lag like in MSN and easy to use. He was on a wireless connection in PA and it wasn't the best connection for MSN but we had no issues with Skype.
Try it, you will love it ... I promise.
Night all
L
On a posting note... For those of you out there that are using MSN Mssgr and the audio conversation option there are better alternatives. May I introduce Skype! A truly FREE VOIP option. Chris and I used it last night after I have been hearing about it lots, and we are glad we did. Clear like a regular phone conversation, no lag like in MSN and easy to use. He was on a wireless connection in PA and it wasn't the best connection for MSN but we had no issues with Skype.
Try it, you will love it ... I promise.
Night all
L
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I am not a good pregnant person!
Seriously, this is more than just a title.
I love the idea of being a parent.
I love the idea of helping mold a little human being into a productive, upstanding member of society.
I love the fact that I get to be a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, and a therapist all at the same time.
I love the thought that the man that I love and I, have created someone else... Through both luck and love.
I however, do not love being pregnant.
I keep hearing from people that this is the happiest most joyous time of your life.
I keep hearing that the 2nd trimester is the golden time in pregnancy.
I keep hearing that pregnancy is to be celebrated because it is one of the only things that a women can uniquely celebrate.
What I am not hearing is the reality of it all.
Maybe it is because I am selfish, maybe it is because this was unplanned, maybe it is because I am sick and tired of hearing all the free advice and the "I needs" from various people in my life.
Maybe it is just because I am not a good pregnant person!
I was talking to my bestest friend in the entire world today... Who is coincidentally my pseudo therapist, and I said something and then she re-emphasized it to me...
"This pregnancy does not define me!"
Why then does it feel like it does?
Why is it that when people talk to me that this pregnancy seems to be the only thing that there is to talk to me about?
Last time I checked I was still a human being of relatively high intelligence that managed to carry on intelligent human conversation with other homo sapiens before this pregnancy happened... Guess what, when these conversations happened we talked about things other than babies, pregnancy, labour and various other endless topic of conversation associated with this pregnancy.
What happened to sports, current events, movies and anything else going on in this world.
And why is it when I have a strong reaction to something that my reaction is blamed on hormones or pregnancy. Anyone who knows me, or has for a least an hour, knows that I am one of the most opinionated people around. If it is on my mind I will say it... Guess what this was a fact before I was pregnant! Nothing has changed... Except now I cry more and get frustrated a lot faster.
It is weird, and this may be the selfish part of me rearing it's ugly head, but... I know that this pregnancy is a huge event in a lot of peoples lives, especially family, however the more excited they get, the less excited I get.
Yes granted this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and I know that everyone is really excited, but I have never been more stressed out by family in my entire life.
I guess the facts are this...
I do not really look pregnant,
I do not really feel pregnant, minus the fact that a number of my clothes are not fitting and the fact that I look like had implants.
I have not heard the heartbeat, and have not felt a kick.
I am sure one day I will look and feel pregnant but right now I just feel like I am missing out on so many things.
My days revolve around making sure that I get enough nutrients, H2O and rest to build a strong and healthy baby. Not to mention trying to keep enough energy for the end of the day to go to the gym to help keep my body healthy and my stress down.
Then on top of all this I try to go to work and just work... Do something that I am really good at, yet the stress of the family, the pregnancy and the fact that everyone feels compelled to talk to me only about this pregnancy makes me less productive and terribly grumpy when I am at the only place that I can conceivable go to, to concentrate on something else.
Thank you to a few of you... And you know who you are.. MW, AH, and CT for talking to me like I am still an intelligent human being. Thank you for supporting me when I am grumpy and thank you for not letting this pregnancy define me.
To everyone else... If you read this and you see me, or talk to me on the phone... Can we talk about something else the next time we meet face to face... It would truly make my day.
Yes I am complaining but it's my blog and I will grump if I want to.
I love the idea of being a parent.
I love the idea of helping mold a little human being into a productive, upstanding member of society.
I love the fact that I get to be a teacher, a doctor, a nurse, and a therapist all at the same time.
I love the thought that the man that I love and I, have created someone else... Through both luck and love.
I however, do not love being pregnant.
I keep hearing from people that this is the happiest most joyous time of your life.
I keep hearing that the 2nd trimester is the golden time in pregnancy.
I keep hearing that pregnancy is to be celebrated because it is one of the only things that a women can uniquely celebrate.
What I am not hearing is the reality of it all.
Maybe it is because I am selfish, maybe it is because this was unplanned, maybe it is because I am sick and tired of hearing all the free advice and the "I needs" from various people in my life.
Maybe it is just because I am not a good pregnant person!
I was talking to my bestest friend in the entire world today... Who is coincidentally my pseudo therapist, and I said something and then she re-emphasized it to me...
"This pregnancy does not define me!"
Why then does it feel like it does?
Why is it that when people talk to me that this pregnancy seems to be the only thing that there is to talk to me about?
Last time I checked I was still a human being of relatively high intelligence that managed to carry on intelligent human conversation with other homo sapiens before this pregnancy happened... Guess what, when these conversations happened we talked about things other than babies, pregnancy, labour and various other endless topic of conversation associated with this pregnancy.
What happened to sports, current events, movies and anything else going on in this world.
And why is it when I have a strong reaction to something that my reaction is blamed on hormones or pregnancy. Anyone who knows me, or has for a least an hour, knows that I am one of the most opinionated people around. If it is on my mind I will say it... Guess what this was a fact before I was pregnant! Nothing has changed... Except now I cry more and get frustrated a lot faster.
It is weird, and this may be the selfish part of me rearing it's ugly head, but... I know that this pregnancy is a huge event in a lot of peoples lives, especially family, however the more excited they get, the less excited I get.
Yes granted this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and I know that everyone is really excited, but I have never been more stressed out by family in my entire life.
I guess the facts are this...
I do not really look pregnant,
I do not really feel pregnant, minus the fact that a number of my clothes are not fitting and the fact that I look like had implants.
I have not heard the heartbeat, and have not felt a kick.
I am sure one day I will look and feel pregnant but right now I just feel like I am missing out on so many things.
My days revolve around making sure that I get enough nutrients, H2O and rest to build a strong and healthy baby. Not to mention trying to keep enough energy for the end of the day to go to the gym to help keep my body healthy and my stress down.
Then on top of all this I try to go to work and just work... Do something that I am really good at, yet the stress of the family, the pregnancy and the fact that everyone feels compelled to talk to me only about this pregnancy makes me less productive and terribly grumpy when I am at the only place that I can conceivable go to, to concentrate on something else.
Thank you to a few of you... And you know who you are.. MW, AH, and CT for talking to me like I am still an intelligent human being. Thank you for supporting me when I am grumpy and thank you for not letting this pregnancy define me.
To everyone else... If you read this and you see me, or talk to me on the phone... Can we talk about something else the next time we meet face to face... It would truly make my day.
Yes I am complaining but it's my blog and I will grump if I want to.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Conundrum
Have you ever been in a situation that makes you doubt your decision, even though when you look at the parties involved in the situation you know you are still right?
I am in one of those precarious situations right now.
Lets explain it this way... Party A is young... Party B is Party A's senior by almost a decade. Party A is in a position in it's life where the only things that matter are partying and making sure that their budget is managed well enough to include gas for the car to get to the parties and the ocassional meal as to not result in death due to starvation. However, party B is in a very different stage, children, relationships, full time jobs, bills to pay that do not include debts to the local deal, you know the regular adult domestic stuff. Now Party B is wise and also very sensitive... call it a bit isolated if you will. Party A has shoot off mouth syndrome that has no effects on anyone because Party A has yet to learn that there is reprecusions for everything in life. A says a series of things to B without thinking and inadvertantly hurts B feelings and makes B doubt decisions that have been made long before the conversation occurs. Since A still has blaitant disregard for everything other than partying and the occasional meal, how does B deal with A? How does B help A to understand that this is wrong and that A needs to start to consider the possible outcome of the hurtful words that spew from A's mouth all too frequently?
Does it help with the dilemma if A and B are related?
What about if A doesn't repsect B?
Just to add another loop in it A nd B are the same gender!
Help... any input would be greatly appreciated.
I am in one of those precarious situations right now.
Lets explain it this way... Party A is young... Party B is Party A's senior by almost a decade. Party A is in a position in it's life where the only things that matter are partying and making sure that their budget is managed well enough to include gas for the car to get to the parties and the ocassional meal as to not result in death due to starvation. However, party B is in a very different stage, children, relationships, full time jobs, bills to pay that do not include debts to the local deal, you know the regular adult domestic stuff. Now Party B is wise and also very sensitive... call it a bit isolated if you will. Party A has shoot off mouth syndrome that has no effects on anyone because Party A has yet to learn that there is reprecusions for everything in life. A says a series of things to B without thinking and inadvertantly hurts B feelings and makes B doubt decisions that have been made long before the conversation occurs. Since A still has blaitant disregard for everything other than partying and the occasional meal, how does B deal with A? How does B help A to understand that this is wrong and that A needs to start to consider the possible outcome of the hurtful words that spew from A's mouth all too frequently?
Does it help with the dilemma if A and B are related?
What about if A doesn't repsect B?
Just to add another loop in it A nd B are the same gender!
Help... any input would be greatly appreciated.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Frustration abundance...
&^@%^%*&( (&*%&)%# *()&%^%$^&&??": !
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
&^@%^%*&( (&*%&)%# *()&%^%$^&&??": !
Sorry all, I am so frustrated and want to be able to blog about it but unfortunatly we live in a world where everything we do can be monitored and held against us. I am forced to scream on my blog to help me get out the frustrations that I cannot talk about, in fear of the reprecutions. So much for freedom of speech.
One the bright side of things... Tomorrow is the last day of the first trimester :)
I finally got a Midwife, her name is Lisa. I meet with her for the first time on the 21st. I am so very excited for this since I have a list of apprehensions directly correlated with conventional medicine and their general lack of ability to care for people holistically. If I wanted to be a considered a dollar sign or a pill I would go to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get my point?
I had a prenatal checkup on Monday, put on 4 pounds since the last time I was there. Not like I didn't already know that by the fact that my pants are tight and my back hurts from the growth upstairs... If you know what I mean. But all and all the visit went well. We couldn't hear the heartbeat with the Doppler, which was of no concern to my doctor, could be a number of variables... Namely that the Doppler was giving her grief. IF she had any concerns at all she would have sent me for another ultrasound other than technical malfunctions, she was not surprised since the baby is only the size of a jumbo shrimp and we could hear the woooshing of the placenta.
S & S Update
No more nausea
Coffee smells good again... Damn still can't have it
Headaches are here... Thank you hormones
Nosebleeds are here too... Again thank you hormones
My energy levels are up again... Working out has helped that :) Ah to be back at the gym.
Well more to come later... gotta go back to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHland!
Enjoy your day.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
&^@%^%*&( (&*%&)%# *()&%^%$^&&??": !
Sorry all, I am so frustrated and want to be able to blog about it but unfortunatly we live in a world where everything we do can be monitored and held against us. I am forced to scream on my blog to help me get out the frustrations that I cannot talk about, in fear of the reprecutions. So much for freedom of speech.
One the bright side of things... Tomorrow is the last day of the first trimester :)
I finally got a Midwife, her name is Lisa. I meet with her for the first time on the 21st. I am so very excited for this since I have a list of apprehensions directly correlated with conventional medicine and their general lack of ability to care for people holistically. If I wanted to be a considered a dollar sign or a pill I would go to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get my point?
I had a prenatal checkup on Monday, put on 4 pounds since the last time I was there. Not like I didn't already know that by the fact that my pants are tight and my back hurts from the growth upstairs... If you know what I mean. But all and all the visit went well. We couldn't hear the heartbeat with the Doppler, which was of no concern to my doctor, could be a number of variables... Namely that the Doppler was giving her grief. IF she had any concerns at all she would have sent me for another ultrasound other than technical malfunctions, she was not surprised since the baby is only the size of a jumbo shrimp and we could hear the woooshing of the placenta.
S & S Update
No more nausea
Coffee smells good again... Damn still can't have it
Headaches are here... Thank you hormones
Nosebleeds are here too... Again thank you hormones
My energy levels are up again... Working out has helped that :) Ah to be back at the gym.
Well more to come later... gotta go back to AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHland!
Enjoy your day.
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